The "It's Almost Too Late" edition of picks

How dare work get in my way of predicting SEC games.

Alabama at Vanderbilt (11:30 a.m. CT / LFS)

Yippee! SEC football is underway. St. Nick goes to Nashville to rape their cattle and steal their women. Yes, that's correct. Why? Because he can.

But he'll lose his first SEC game. Yes, that's also correct.

Bear with him - 20
Easy Like Sunday Morning ($1 to Bubb Rubb) - 21

South Florida at Auburn (8 p.m. CT / ESPN2)

Upset alert! USF is a good team. They beat West Virginia last year and return most of the entire team. Or so the pundits say.

Auburn looked sluggish in their first game. 9th year QB Brandon Cox best get things in high gear real quick like.

Better than K-State - 24
Better than last week - 38

Troy at Florida (6 p.m. CT)

No TV means no shots of Mrs. Meyer or Tebow's girl.

Getting paid - 10
Gettin... uh, nevermind - 49

South Carolina at Georgia (5:45 p.m. ET / ESPN)

Spurrier's team may be cocked but they weren't firing last week. They go between the hedges to try and jump start their season. Kegmaster Matthew Stafford will have the hairy Dawgs ready to uncock the Cocks.

QB questions already? - 17
Look out Florida - 35

Kent State at Kentucky (6 p.m. ET)

Kentucky's getting ready for Louisville. Kent State may help prepare Big Blue's offense, but not their defense.

MACtastic opponent - 13
SECond best team in state - 48

Virginia Tech at LSU (8:15 p.m. CT / ESPN)

Under normal circumstances, this would be a dominate game. But these aren't normal circumstances. LSU fans are being asked to be polite.

LSU's defense won't.

QB issues - 16
Mild week 1 practice - 22

Missouri at Ole Miss (5 p.m. CT)

Let me be the 3789th person to say that this is a MISS-match.

*groan*

That's Mizz to you - 28
Tennessee let Brent go, why? - 10

Southern Miss at Tennessee (7 p.m. ET)

Why isn't this on TV? USM almost always plays the big boys tough and 9 times out of 10, look as if they are about to pull the upset. Only to have the big boy snap out of it and take control of the game. Isn't that right, Bill Callahan?

Best in MS - 27
Phat Phil is no Bill - 28

Mississippi State at Tulane (6 p.m. CT / CSS)

Why *is* this one on TV? Does CSS not want people to watch their station?

1 SEC championship - 15 (defensive or special teams TD plus 8 safeties)
2 SEC championships - 14 (two INTs for TDs)

Let's see if my perfect record remains perfect Sunday.